How do I find the right husband or wife?

This is one of the most important choices you have to make in life, for it may decide whether you will have a happy marriage or not and it will also affect your children.

We cannot lay down exact rules for everyone, for God deals with us as individuals and we also live in different cultures where some of the less important matters differ. But we can give you some guidelines.

It may be helpful to read Genesis 24 through carefully. It deals with someone who was looking for a bride for a young man and gives us some good principles to follow.

1. Look for a wife/husband who will suit you. If you are a Christian, do not marry a girl/man who is not a Christian.
Read again Genesis 24:3-4 as well as 2 Corinthians 6:14-15.

2. If you are a Christian, trust the Lord that He will show you in some way who the right one is (Genesis 24:7).

3. Pray every day that the Lord will show you the right person (Genesis 24:12).

4. Look for someone who is helpful and caring (Genesis 24:17-22).

5. As far as possible look for someone who has not slept with other girls/men (Genesis 24:16). But then you should also see to it that you keep yourself from this kind of immoral life (1 Thessalonians 4:38).

6. If you want to know where to find the right kind of partner, you should be like a fisherman. When he wants to catch fish, he goes where the fish are, the river or lake or sea. If you want to find a Christian partner, you should go to church, or the youth group where Christian young people meet.

If you pray that God will guide you in this and follow these guidelines you can be sure that God will lead you to the right person. He has promised to lead us if we want to follow Him (Psalm 37:47). You will know, by your love and respect for the person and by the fact that he/she returns that love and respect for you, that God has guided you. It is possible that some people may know at an early age who they will marry, but others do not. It is usually best to wait until after the age of 20 or 21for marriage, bacause you are more mature then and able to make a better choice.