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We Need Love

Children who do not get enough love from their parents - or at least, not the right kind of love - often have sexual problems. They try to find the love which they missed by having a sexual relationship with someone (or with themselves). Our need for love and our need for sex are closely related. But sex cannot fill or take the place of neglected love. A young person who needs love can never be satisfied by sex alone.

Read Genesis 2:18-24.

What was Adam's need according to verse 18?

Why couldn't the animals or birds satisfy that need?

Who could satisfy that need?

Who is more important to a man than his parents? (Verse 24.)

We all need love. God made us that way. We need to be loved and to love someone special, someone who will be more important to us than our own parents. But we often confuse our need for love with our need for sex. This just shows us again that something is wrong with us human beings. We do not even know what we need!

Furthermore, there is a difference between the needs of girls and those of boys. Boys do not seem to realize at all that they need love and companionship. They think they need only sex! Girls are - generally speaking - more conscious than boys of their need for love and companionship.

But this makes our problems even worse. Because too often the only way by which a girl can get a boyfriend is to have sex with him. Unfortunately too many boys are willing to take the sex, but they are unable to give the girl something in return. Being concerned only with themselves and their own enjoyment, they do not give the girl companionship and love. If the girl does not receive companionship and real love, sex is not satisfactory to her. And if it is not to the girl - neither is it to the boy. The boy then moves off to try to find better sex somewhere else and the girl is left alone. She might pick up another "~lover," but the one thing he can seldom give her is true love.

We may easily confuse our need for love with our need for sex.

Read 2 Samuel 13:1-15.

Now did Amnon feel about Tamar? (Verse 1-2.)

Now did he feel about her after he raped her? (Verse 15.)

What is your opinion of his "love"?

Why are such things recorded in the Bible? (1 Corinthians 10:6, 11.)

We must learn what love is and how to love if we want to be happy even in sex.

In the next lesson we will explore further the relationship between love and sex according to the Bible. We believe that sex is a gift of God. The Bible says that God is love. We will surely find some answers to our problems, as we continue our Bible study.

Prayer: O Lord, help me to understand the difference between love and  sex so that I may love and be loved in the right way. Amen.

Questions to Discuss in the Group

1. What is the difference between love and sex?

2. Do we have to show our love for our parents, children and friends?

3. How can we do that in each case?

4. How should we show God that we love him?

5. How did God show his love for us? (1 John 4:9.)

6. In what ways do the needs of girls and boys differ? (Ask the boys and  girls in the group to make separate lists describing "my ideal husband/wife"  and compare the lists afterwards.)