Archive for category: FAQ

We read in the Bible that many of God’s people had two or more wives e.g. Abraham, Jacob, David etc. We should note, too, that in every one of these families there was much friction and unhappiness. Sometimes there was tension between the wives, as in the case of Abraham (Genesis 16,21). Sometimes the husband loved the one wife more than the other, like Jacob (Genesis 29:15-35). It also happened that the children of the different wives argued and fought, as in the case of David (2 Samuel 13). Therefore, it appears that marriage with more than one wife makes for a difficult situation. Why is this so?

To find the reason, we must go back to the institution, or beginning, of marriage (Genesis 2:18-24). In verse 18 God says very clearly “I will make a suitable companion to help him,” not two or three companions. His will is that two people, a man and a woman, should become one (verse 24). We find that in the New Testament, whenever marriage is spoken of, this verse is quoted. For instance, in Matthew 19:5-6, Jesus said “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and unite with his wife, and the two will become one”.

It is possible for two people to belong together in such a way that they become one in ideals, planning and service for the Lord, etc., but for three people to do this is impossible. Therefore it is clear that, from the beginning God intended that one man should marry one wife and that they should become one.

For this reason, it is required in the Christian church that anyone who wishes to become a leader should have only one wife (1 Timothy 3:2, 12). No-one who has more than one wife may take responsibility in the church.

So to answer your question, we can answer that the Bible teaches clearly that a man may have only one wife.

If a person was married to two wives as an unbeliever, because tradition allowed it, and has since accepted Jesus as his Saviour, he will not be prevented from becomming a child of God. He will be accepted by God. John 1:12 says that those who receive Jesus and believe in him will be given the right to become God’s children. God will forgive all his sins, even those done in ignorance, (1 John 1:7, 9; Psalm 103:8-13).

This is one of the most important choices you have to make in life, for it may decide whether you will have a happy marriage or not and it will also affect your children.

We cannot lay down exact rules for everyone, for God deals with us as individuals and we also live in different cultures where some of the less important matters differ. But we can give you some guidelines.

It may be helpful to read Genesis 24 through carefully. It deals with someone who was looking for a bride for a young man and gives us some good principles to follow.

1. Look for a wife/husband who will suit you. If you are a Christian, do not marry a girl/man who is not a Christian.
Read again Genesis 24:3-4 as well as 2 Corinthians 6:14-15.

2. If you are a Christian, trust the Lord that He will show you in some way who the right one is (Genesis 24:7).

3. Pray every day that the Lord will show you the right person (Genesis 24:12).

4. Look for someone who is helpful and caring (Genesis 24:17-22).

5. As far as possible look for someone who has not slept with other girls/men (Genesis 24:16). But then you should also see to it that you keep yourself from this kind of immoral life (1 Thessalonians 4:38).

6. If you want to know where to find the right kind of partner, you should be like a fisherman. When he wants to catch fish, he goes where the fish are, the river or lake or sea. If you want to find a Christian partner, you should go to church, or the youth group where Christian young people meet.

If you pray that God will guide you in this and follow these guidelines you can be sure that God will lead you to the right person. He has promised to lead us if we want to follow Him (Psalm 37:47). You will know, by your love and respect for the person and by the fact that he/she returns that love and respect for you, that God has guided you. It is possible that some people may know at an early age who they will marry, but others do not. It is usually best to wait until after the age of 20 or 21for marriage, bacause you are more mature then and able to make a better choice.

The answer to this question depends upon the age of the one who asks it. The modern visual media, like television, have influenced the thinking pattern of our children. So many small boys and girls are tempted to do as television or videos suggest / to have their own special lovers too soon.

Normally boys and girls up to the age of 12 or 13 years want to spend their time with members of their own sex. When they become older they become attracted to members of the opposite sex. Sometimes they “fall in love” with a certain boy or girl. Unfortunately “love” at too young an age is usually not true love and does not last long. After some weeks or months they no longer feel attracted to each other. It is not wrong to get these feelings, but such young children must not make the mistake of thinking that their whole life depends upon it. Sometimes, when such a relationship is broken the disappointed one says: “I cannot live without him/her.” This is, of course, not true.

Sometimes this “love” is mere sexual attraction which ends in sin / sexual intercourse outside marriage.

It is good for a Christian boy or girl to learn how to communicate properly with members of the opposite sex. But they should try and not choose a special girl or boy when they are still too young. Some make the mistake of starting a friendship where the boy will say: “I love you … you are the only one in my life … I will love you forever …” Of course in some instances it may work out. But the ultimate outcome of such passionate love is in most cases a broken relationship, or a marriage where both are too young. And most of such marriages are usually unhappy. Research in the field of social science has proved this over and over.

So the answer to the question above is “yes” when the boy and girl have reached maturity. That is about the age of about 23-25 for the young man and 19-20 for the girl. At that age they are more able to disagree without becoming angry, they are less self ish, they are more willing to acknowledge that they have done something wrong to one another, they know more about personal responsibility. A Christian young man who
courts a girl with the intention of marrying her, must make sure that his girlfriend is a true Christian and vise versa.

Sometimes young African people ask this question against the background of cultural customs. Their custom tells them that their parents or families must make the choice regarding a life partner for their son. Young people of today want to marry the one they love. Christian young people have problems when their families want them to marry a boy or girl who is an unbeliever. They know it is against God’s will (2 Corinthians 6:14-15). We do not despise cultural customs. But we are compelled to teach Christ ians that the true “God-given” marriage is the marriage of a Christian man with a Christian girl. The “cement” that binds them together is true love which is a gift of God. If they are forced into a cultural marriage without God’s approval there is no guarantee that it will be a blessed and happy one.

The word Sabbath means “rest” (not Saturday). God requires each one of us to set aside one day of the week for worshipping Him and for resting. Let us see what the Bible tells us about this day of spiritual and physical renewal:

1. In Exodus 20:8-11 we read that the believer should rest on the seventh day. (God does not say the seventh day of the week!)

2. The Sabbath on Saturday is a sign of the Covenant for the Jewish people (Exodus 31:16-17). On that day no fire may be made (Exodus 35:3); no firewood may be gathered (Numbers 15:32-35) and nobody may leave his home on the Sabbath day (Exodus 16:29). If a Christian wishes to keep the Jewish Sabbath (on Saturday) he should do it in the Jewish way.

3. Jesus did not tell his disciples anywhere in the New Testament to keep the Jewish Sabbath. He did, however, repeat all nine the other commandments for his disciples. We do notice that the Jews rejected Jesus more than once because he broke the Sabbath according to their understanding (Matthew 12:1-14).

4. In the New Testament we find that the “Lord’s Day,” Sunday, replaced the Jewish Sabbath for the Christians, because 4.1 the Lord Jesus rose  from death on Sunday (John 20:1); 4.2 every time that Jesus appeared to his disciples after his resurrection, it was on Sunday (Matthew 28:10;  Luke 24:13-36; John 20:19-23; etc.); 4.3 the day of Pentecost (the pouring out of the Holy Spirit) was on Sunday (Acts 2:1); 4.4 the first Christians thus came together on the first day of the week, the Lord’s day, the Sunday, for their church services and communion services (Acts 20:7) and also brought their offerings to God on Sunday (1 Corinthians 16:2).

5. The apostle Paul started his work by trying to reach the Jews by preaching to them on the Jewish Sabbath in the synagogues (Acts 13:14, 42, 44) but to the Christians he preached on Sundays (Acts 20:7) even though he had already arrived there before the Saturday (verse 6).

6. Some of the Jewish Christians tried to force the believers from non-Jewish nations to be obedient to the Jewish laws. An important general meeting of Christians was held about this matter in Jerusalem. The decision of this meeting is found in Acts 15: 28-29: the Jewish laws (verse 24) do not apply to Christians.

7. Paul also writes that no one may judge a Christian for not keeping the Jewish feasts or Sabbath (Colossians 2:16).

8. Since those days through all the centuries the Christians used the Lord’s day (Sunday) for their day of worship.

In conclusion: The Jews keep their Sabbath on Saturday, but Christians keep their Sabbath (day of rest and worship) on the Lord’s day, Sunday.

The Bible teaches that lost sinners will exist forever, after the final judgment, in a place which is described under different names and symbols. The notion in modern times that hell won’t be a place but a state of mind or a condition, even on earth now , does not do justice to the teachings of the Bible. The place where the lost will exist forever, body and soul, is described by using examples of places that people of the Bible knew. For example the word used for hell “gehenna” is a Hebrew word consist ing of ge (=land) and Hinnom (= a valley southwest of Jerusalem). It was the place where wicked idol-worshippers burnt their own children alive as sacrifices to the idol-god Moloch. It was considered a filthy and horrible place, a symbol of hell. In Matt hew 18:9 we hear of “the fires of hell,” in verse 8: “eternal fire”. In Revelation 20:14-15 it is called “a lake of fire”.

Hell is not a condition, it is a place. Where it shall be, nobody knows. All that we know is that –

(a) God is not there except for His wrath.

(b) It is a place of eternal torment and pain, and remorse, where your conscience will be like a devouring worm, always reminding you of what could have been if only you did not despise the calls of God; a place of utter despair, weeping and grinding of teeth (Matthew 8:12; 13:50; Mark 9:43-48; Luke 16:23-28; Revelation 14:10; 21:8).