This letter is written for Christians only. If you are a real Christian, saved by the Lord Jesus, who has the Holy Spirit in your heart, you must pray that God will lead you to the one he intends to be your life-partner, whom you must marry.

If you pray thus, you must remember that God will answer your prayer in His time and manner.

Trust God to do so. But remember that it is the will of God that a Christian only marry another Christian (2 Corinthians 6:14-15). Therefore you can know that if an unbeliever wants to marry you, he/she is not God’s choice for you.

If you meet someone who seems to be your partner, do the following:

1. Make sure if he/she is a true Christian or not.

2. Establish how many of your interests are the same.

3. Ask him/her to go and pray to ask God for the assurance that He wants you two to be life partners. If he/she refuses to do that, it is not the right one.

4. It is a plus-point if both are of the same church, but it is not essential.

5. Remember that sex before marriage is always sin before God.

6. Ask God to give the assurance in your heart that your friend is the chosen one whom you must marry.

It happens because many African parents still hold on to the marriage customs of the different tribes. It was customary that, when their boy reached marriageable age, and had passed the initiation rites, the parents would look for a suitable wife for him among the girls they knew. They arranged a meeting with the family of the girl where they arranged the dowry (lobola) and the wedding.

This is one of the main reasons why many parents in Africa, even today, refuse to allow their children to choose their own boy- or girlfriends.

Without despising the old customs, we must say that things have changed, especially when people become Christians. Christians believe that the Lord Himself can and wants to bring two people, whom he intends to be life-partners, together. He gives the love for a special life-partner in the heart of the Christian. We must trust Him to do so, and we must be prepared to obey Him first, rather than the old customs.

But please do not quarrel with the parents who still adhere to the old customs. Let us discuss the matter with them and try to convince them that the Christian must obey the Bible. Read Genesis 2:24: “Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.”

God cannot lie. He says in the Bible that He loves you and you must believe Him. Take for example John 3:16 and insert your name where it says “whosoever” (that means you too, does it not?). For God loved you so much that He gave his only Son, so that you who believe in Him may not die but have eternal life. (Good News Translation.)

See also 1 John 3:1; John 15:12, 16:27; Ephesians 2:4-5; 5:2; Hebrews 12:6; 1 John 4:10, 19.

Also examine your life and you will find many tokens of his love in the blessings that you can enjoy. Sometimes we can rejoice even in our disappointments. Someone said that when he became blind, he could not understand it. But in his blindness God saved his soul and gave him an amazing joy and peace of mind. Now he rejoices in his blindness because he found God in it.

Please be sure: God loves you just as you are. Will you respond to His love by doing what he asks in Revelation 3:20?

I am going to give you these words as listed in a book: “The Seven Sayings of the Saviour on the Cross” by Arthur W Pink. You can look them up yourself.

The Word of Forgiveness Luke 23:34
The Word of Salvation Luke 23:42-43
The Word of Affection John 19:25-27
The Word of Anguish Matthew 27:46
The Word of Suffering John 19:28
The Word of Victory John 19:30
The Word of Contentment Luke 23:46

become his children. Jesus came to save sinners (1 Timothy 1:15). He lived a life of perfect obedience on our behalf. He was a perfect sacrifice for our sins on the cross. He has done everything necessary to save us. He certainly and assuredly saves those who turn to Him in faith and repentance. Here is what you should do:

1. Come to Jesus in prayer. Jesus promised that He will not drive away anyone who comes to Him (John 6:37). Cast yourself on his mercy. He will hear you (Mark 10:46-52).

2. Confess your sins to Him. He promises to forgive your sins if you confess them and give them up (1 John 1:9; 2:1; Proverbs 28:13).

3. Ask Jesus to become the Lord of your life. He promises to come in as soon as you open the door of your life (Revelation3:20). Surrender your life to Him (Romans 12:1-2).

4. Receive Jesus as your Saviour. By doing this, you will be a child of God (John 1:12). You can only receive Him by faith, in prayer. Ask Him to come into your life.

5. Thank Him in faith that He did come in to change your life. He keeps his promises (Hebrews 11:6).

6. Tell others what you have done, and how your sins have been forgiven (Roman 10:9-10).

7. Start to live in obedience to Christ (Philippians 1:21; Galatians 2:20; 2 Corinthians 5:14-15), also by meeting regularly with other children of God.

Is it possible to be a true believer, but never attend any church? A believer is someone who believes in God; who is saved by grace because Jesus died on the cross for him; who sincerely desires to say: Thank you! by works, words and a dedicated life, for what his Saviour has done. It is a person who boldly says to the unbelieving world: I belong to Jesus, I serve him, I love him and want to praise and adore him together with his other children. It is therefore strange that a person who confesses that he is a child of God can be reluctant to go the house of God, the church.

Even in the first church of the New Testament there were people who had this problem. That is why the writer of the Epistle to the Hebrews gave a warning to them in Hebrews 10:25: “Let us not give up the habit of meeting together, as some are doing. Instead, let us encourage one another all the more, since you see that the Day of the Lord is coming nearer” (Good News Translation).

If one is reluctant to go to the places where God is glorified and adored on earth, together with other Christians, how will you feel at home in heaven, where this is done all the time?

Every Sunday when we attend church and when we confess the articles of our Christian faith we say: I believe in the holy catholic church: “The communion of saints”. (The word catholic comes from the Greek katholikos which simply means “general” or “universal” and is not applicable to the Roman Catholic Church only). The church in which we believe is the Christian church as a whole – that is the only true church.

But we find many different churches in the world. In each of those churches we find true believers and people who call themselves Christians but whom we call nominal Christians. That means that though they are called Christians, their hearts really do not belong to the Lord. But the true Christians in those churches are also members of the holy catholic (general) church, although they are members of the church they like or were born in. They will be present at the end of time when believers from every race, tribe, nation and language, from every generation will stand before the throne of Jesus as an enormous crowd (read Revelation 7:9-10).

No church, either Roman Catholic, Anglican, Wesleyan, Dutch Reformed or any other, can say: We are the only true church – all you others are lost. No, there is only one Christian church. All the churches that believe in the Bible as the Word of God, and preach the message of it correctly; that serve the sacraments (baptism and holy communion) properly; that have a proper discipline to guard the holiness of the congregation, can count as members the true believers who belong to the general Christian church – the church which had its beginning on the day of Pentecost.

If you wish to find a good church for yourself among all the thousands that are available, start visiting some churches. Then as yourself:

1. Do they love and obey the Lord Jesus here?
2. Do I feel at home with their way of worship?
3. Do they really care for one another?
4. Do they accept the authority of the whole Bible?
5. Do they try to live holy lives, or is sin tolerated?

These questions will help you to find the right church for you and your family.

It is surely a heartbreaking fact that there are so many churches. If we read our Bible carefully, we learn the following truths about the church:

1. It is God’s intention that there be only one church on earth. Read: John 17:21; John 10:16 and 1 Corinthians 12:21-31. It is quite clear that God wants His church to be one.

2. Sin came into the world and spoiled everything that God made beautiful. So sin tries to spoil the beautiful creation of God as well. The beautiful human being that God created, was made ugly by sin. Even the church, which was intended to be a beautiful body of God, is being spoilt by people breaking it up in pieces. Then you have the different churches.

3. Only Christ can bring unity again where there is partition (Ephesians 2:14).

4. But it is also our responsibility, as Christians of all denominations and churches of which you speak, to try and work in the direction of the unification of the church. We must work towards the oneness of the church of Jesus (Ephesians 4:3; 1 Peter 3:8).

The diversity of churches have many reasons.

1. Sometimes it is because the different churches started in different countries. So we find the Church of England, the Dutch Reformed Church, the Paris Evangelical Mission (France) and the Lutheran Church (Germany) all working in South Africa and planting their own churches.

2. Sometimes it is because people cannot agree on church doctrine. So we find that the Baptist Church baptises only believing adults, while the Roman Catholic and Presbyterian Church baptise the children of believers as well. The Pentecostal Churches lay much stress on the work of the Holy Spirit and speaking in tongues, while other churches rarely speak about it.

3. Sometimes separate churches come from different cultures. The people of Africa love to sing and dance and beat the drums when they worship God, while the Christians of European descent usually prefer to worship God in a quiet and dignified way.

4. Mostly church splits come from leaders who do not agree with each other and then split the church and take some of the members with them to start a new church. This is really sad.

But, as Pauls says: “What does it matter? The important thing is that in every way, whether from false motives or true, Christ is preached. And because of this I rejoice” (Philippians 1:15-18).

The Bible tells us that Adam and Eve had three sons: Cain, Abel and Seth. We read in Genesis 1:28: “and God blessed them (Adam and Eve); and God said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply and replenish the earth”. Adam and Eve had other children – read Genesis 5:4.

So, by the time Cain received the punishment from God to be a vagabond on earth, there could have been many descendents of Adam and Eve who wished to revenge the blood of Abel.

Further speculation on the subject like the assumption that God created other people except Adam and Eve, has no scriptural foundation at all.

All this is just speculation, and not important at all. Cain and all his descendants died a few years later (Genesis 7). Jesus said we must not fear people who can only kill the body (Matthew 10:28). We should rather fear God who can destroy both soul and body in hell.

According to the flesh (not according to His divine nature) the Lord Jesus Christ, as man, was a descendant of King David of Israel. Read the accounts about the ancestors of Jesus in Matthew 1:1-17 and Luke 3:23-38.

But please remember that Jesus was no ordinary man, He was and is God, the Second Person in the Trinity, who became man (John 3:16) in order to be able to die for our sins and to save us (1 Corinthians 15:3).

We must open our hearts when He knocks on the “door” if we really want to be His children (read Revelation 3:20).